Tuesday, Feb. 12, 2013 | justanothermother's Blog

I have spent a lot of time lately taking to God.  Mind you, I said talking, not praying.  I think there is a difference.  I do my 'talking' when I am outside, surrounded by all he has created.  Although most times, I feel the conversation is one sided, with me doing most of the talking, there have been, what I interpreted, as signs that he was definitely listening.  Twice I have spotted a red-tailed hawk just sitting in a tree close to my yard, facing my direction, seeming somewhat spellbound by my presence.  As soon as I see him, I start talking to the bird, as if it is God.  I don't think I do it purposely, it just happens.  When I am finished, it is as if the bird has been dismissed, and it just flies off, ever so gracefully, slowly out of sight.  Call me crazy, but I somehow feel as if I have been heard, and even though things that are bothering don't seem to change, I am better able to deal with it all for days. 

For years now, I have had 'contact', if you will, with my father-in-law, that passed away in July of 1988.  He was somewhat of a 're-user'.  One of the things he kept to reuse, was bent nails.  When he needed a nail for a simple repair, he would go to his 'nail can', and pick just the right one.  Then he would lay it on the edge of the table with the bend up, and tap it with a hammer until it was straight enough to use.  The other day while I was talking to God, I got on the subject of my husband.  All of a sudden, the sound of his tap, tap, tapping started ringing in my head.  And all I could hear besides the tapping was what he said to me the day we left town, moving to Alabama.  He hugged me for the first time since I had married his son, told me that he loved me, for the first and only time, and told me to take care of his 'boy'.  It was as if God had sent him to tell me to quit my whining and continue loving my husband and take care of him.  His physical health isn't good, and I get more than my share of the outside work, that he isn't capable of.  It doesn't bother me in the warmer months, but it puts a drain on me during this time of year.  I came away from my talk with God, know that he expects me to carry on, and also knowing that Ed is looking down on me, happy that he left his son in my care.  Thank you God, and Thank You Ed.

JAM